Erika Ettin: Every Relationship Must Start With A First Date

By Erika Ettin
Tribune News Service

WWR Article Summary (tl;dr) Dating expert Erika Ettin says that many people put too much pressure on themselves to have the perfect first date. Instead, she encourages everyone to simply think of dating as having a conversation and nothing more.

Tribune News Service

“I hate dating! I just want to be in a relationship.” I hear this from clients, friends, and strangers all too often. So many people want to skip all of the initial stages and fast forward to the comfortable place a few months in.

That’s just not possible. You can’t have bread without waiting for it to rise. You can’t become a doctor without enduring many years of med school. And, you can’t be in a relationship without going through the early stages of dating. Can it get tiring sometimes? Sure. But it’s also a necessary (and, dare I say, exciting) part of the process.

I had phone calls recently with two very different clients, a 64-year-old woman in Washington, DC and a 32-year-old man in San Diego, CA, and both said variations of the same thing: “I don’t want this first date to be a waste of my time.” Talk about a negative outlook!

I responded with the same question to each: What are you ultimately looking for in this process/working with me?

The response from both, not surprisingly, was “a long-term, committed relationship.”

I reminded them both that every relationship must start with a first date.

It’s interesting to me that, in so many aspects of life, people throw themselves into getting what they want, a new job, a vacation, a place to live, yet when it comes to meeting the person to potentially spend the rest of their lives with, people think that it shouldn’t take any work or that it should “just happen organically.” Let me know the last time getting a new job just happened organically. I’m waiting…

Related News

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *