Erika Ettin: Sleuthing Online To Catch A Cheater

By Erika Ettin
Tribune News Service

WWR Article Summary (tl;dr) When it comes to taking down your online dating profile, is there a right time? Should it be after a certain number of weeks or months of dating? Dating expert Erika Ettin tackles the thorny issue.

Tribune News Service

On two separate occasions recently, a male client in New York and a female client in Washington, DC called me to ask very similar questions: “What should I do if I saw that the person I’m dating is still active online?”

The NYC gentleman had been dating this person for two months, and the DC woman’s “relationship” (for lack of knowing what to call it) was going on for about four months.

Of course, my next question inevitably was this: “How would you know this unless you went online yourself to snoop around?” Silence.

When it comes to taking down your online dating profile, is there a right time?

Should it be after a certain number of weeks or months of dating? Maybe it’s after you’ve had “the talk” to figure out where you two are going as a couple? Perhaps it’s after you’ve changed your status to “in a relationship” on Facebook, the ultimate way to make something official? Or, is it enough simply to unsubscribe from receiving emails through the online dating site?

While I’m a firm believer in dating many different people initially to see who’s out there and hone what you’re looking for, at some point, when you think you’ve found someone you’d like to date exclusively, it’s time to scale back on your online dating life and start to enjoy your offline dating life.

I know many people get what I call “grass is greener” syndrome, always looking for the next best thing. All I can advise you to do is to recognize what you have… and enjoy it.

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