Erika Ettin: What I Learned From A Comedian’s Take On Dating

By Erika Ettin
Tribune News Service.

You may have heard of Aziz Ansari before. Maybe you watched him on “Parks and Recreation” alongside Amy Poehler and Rashida Jones. Or maybe you’re already addicted to his new show, “Master of None,” which chronicles Dev, a 30-year-old actor who tries to make his way through life in NYC, “tries” being the key word. Did you also know that he has added “published author” to his resume? In June, “Modern Romance” hit the shelves, and my mailbox. In fact, two copies ended up in my mailbox, one from a client and one from a friend, so I knew it was a book I needed to read.

Ansari’s writing definitely made me laugh, which is not much of a surprise, considering his occupation as a comedian. And some of the points and pointers in his book are the same ones I would make to my own clients. Below are five key takeaways that I learned from reading “Modern Romance.” Consider it your Cliffs Notes version of the book.

1. We used to look no further than our own backyard for a partner.
A 1932 University of Pennsylvania study showed that one-third of married couples had previously lived within just a five-block radius of each other! In fact, my parents met because they lived not five blocks from each other but next door, and they celebrated their 35th wedding anniversary this year.

2. Too many options might be counterproductive.
With seemingly unlimited options on the various online dating sites, people often get a case of what I call “Grass is Greener Syndrome,” constantly on a mission to find the next best thing. Even if they find a 9.9, they want that perfect 10. Unfortunately, that perfect 10 often doesn’t exist. Barry Schwartz, in “The Paradox of Choice,” shows that too many options can actually overwhelm our brains, thereby leaving us unhappy. Ansari says the same is true of dating.

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