By Carlos D. Williamson
WWR Article Summary (tl;dr) Being rejected does not mean you’ve been friend zoned. As much as we’d like to think otherwise, it just means that person, for whatever reason, isn’t into you. A hard pill to swallow.
When you think of someone being put in the friend zone, you think of people poking fun at men who complain about being rejected.
But this rejection status isn’t as one-sided as people think.
Men and women are guilty of leading each other on with no real romantic intentions for the future.
I’ve had my fair share of disappointments in that area. But let’s get one thing clear: Being rejected does not mean you’ve been friend zoned.
As much as we’d like to think otherwise, it just means that person, for whatever reason, isn’t into you.
A hard pill to swallow, I know.
“The more and more that people are getting burned, the more and more you’re coming out from a space of defensiveness,” said Goal Auzeen Saedi, a licensed clinical psychologist. “It’s immediately like, ‘I’m going to hold you at arm’s length, and I’m going to use you as I see fit, but I’m not going to let you get very close to me.'”
Pursuing someone who isn’t interested rarely works out. And according to Saedi, most people know when they’re being friend zoned. It’s just a matter of coming to terms with it.
Andrea Moseley of Bolingbrook, Ill., for example, is well aware of what’s going on between her and the friend she’s been pursuing since 2011. When she first met him at church, the attraction was subtle, but as the two spent more and more time at Bible study, her feelings grew stronger.
“He always looks like he’s smiling except for when he’s concentrating on something,” Moseley, 31, said. “It’s the shape of his lips when he’s ready to smile.”