By Judi Light Hopson, Emma H. Hopson and Ted Hagen
McClatchy-Tribune News Service.
Have you ever wondered why you feel angry most of the time?
Maybe you’ve just come out of an abusive relationship? Or, did someone cheat you out of money or a job promotion?
Taking back your power requires you to stop playing the “blame game.”
Does this mean those who have wronged you aren’t guilty? No, it doesn’t.
Does this mean you won’t hold anyone accountable for hurting you? No, that won’t work.
Taking back your power means you take control of making better decisions.
For example, if your parents or ex-lovers have mistreated you, this pain can cling to you like a dryer sheet to polyester.
It becomes part of who you are, and you will wear it everywhere you go.
When you make a conscious decision to remove yourself from playing the blame game, you are giving yourself back your control measures.
“When you blame people from your past, you’re stuck in a child’s role,” says a woman we’ll call Patricia. “A victim’s role is really a child’s role, which means you’re operating from a helpless state.”
Patricia had ended up at a domestic violence shelter for women.
There, she learned the power of realizing her ex-husband was horribly abusive, not lovable and in need of a counselor. However, Patricia made the choice to stop blaming him anymore.
“I looked in the mirror one day and said, ‘I’m fully in control of my life now. I blame no one. I forgive and I choose to let it all go,'” says Patricia.
Being made a victim and choosing to stay a victim are two very different things. Physical separation from those who hurt you means you can decide your own path from now on.