By Barton Goldsmith
Tribune News Service
WWR Article Summary (tl;dr) Dr. Barton Goldsmith, a psychotherapist and author of “The Happy Couple: How to Make Happiness a Habit One Little Loving Thing at a Time.” gives some simple tips to keep you going through the tough times. Remember…Life is not a race.
Tribune News Service
Staying on course can be a challenge when life throws a sucker punch at you. Here are some tools to help you get to where you want to go and shake off what has held you back.
1. Don’t give up. Once you quit, it is never quite the same. Whether it’s a relationship, a job or your life, you are in charge of your choices. Giving up may enter your mind, but find some way to keep going, even if you have to do things a little differently.
2. Take it one day at a time. It can be tough going in this world we have created. Former lovers sue each other, companies fire people to increase the bottom line, and there are evil people out there who get their kicks by hurting others. You can’t let all this get to you. Try talking first, because you don’t always need a lawyer, and get your personal support system involved.
3. Love and prosperity can come in a New York minute, so be ready. You really do never know what tomorrow will hold. I have seen things change drastically, and for the better, overnight. And even if it takes a little longer, that is better than hiding from the world.
4. Stay positive. The world is not your enemy. Albert Einstein once said, “We all need to see the universe as friendly.” This is true wisdom from a great man who knew more about the nature of things than most anyone.
5. Go at your own pace, but don’t stop moving forward. You may have been beaten down, but you are not broken. Even if you have suffered and lived through a life-altering trauma, if you still have a beating heart and air in your lungs, you can get back on your feet.
6. Remember, it’s not a race. If you do just one thing a day, you will reach your goal. Sometimes even doing that one thing can seem overwhelming, and if so, just get started and you can always give yourself the weekend off. Pretty soon you will find that doing this work to get to the next level of your life is actually rewarding, and you will start to feel better.
7. Even making a little progress can go a long way. The key is to stick with what you’ve started. It’s kind of like writing a book. In the beginning, you have an idea, or maybe several, but by writing one page at a time, you will complete the book and feel pretty great about yourself. Progress is a great healer.
8. Recognize what you are going through now is not permanent. Sadly, there are things we can do nothing about, but we have a lot more control over our own moods and actions than most people think. Whatever circumstance you are dealing with, your job is to nurture the strength within you. Doing this will bring you greater stability and success in all areas.
9. Think about your thinking. If you don’t think you will make it, it could become a self-fulfilling prophecy. Research says that up to 80 percent of our thoughts are negative, and that needs to change. When you learn to recognize your negative thoughts, you can begin to think more positively, which will make you feel better about yourself and your life. Imagine having 80 percent positive thoughts!
10. Learn to deal with disappointment. When Murphy’s law is in full force, you may wonder why you are even trying. The truth is that successful people in all walks of life have to deal with disappointment sometimes. It’s part of the deal. The trick is to not let disappointments stop you. Ever.
Don’t let life throw you off track. Take the time you need to refocus and gain some clarity. You will be well prepared for your next adventure.
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(Dr. Barton Goldsmith, a psychotherapist in Westlake Village, Calif., is the author of “The Happy Couple: How to Make Happiness a Habit One Little Loving Thing at a Time.”)
