Take Steps To Divorce-Proof Your Marriage

By Judi Light Hopson, Emma H. Hopson and Ted Hagen
Tribune News Service

WWR Article Summary (tl;dr) Several therapists agree that if there were plenty of warning signs that a couple was heading for divorce, there’s a good chance that divorce could have been prevented. Find out what steps you can take to the put the breaks on a permanent painful “break-up.”

Tribune News Service

Have you noticed that divorce is still rising in America?

It seems every time we turn around, a couple is splitting up. In many cases, this means splitting up families.

There is lots of documentation that divorce leaves ugly marks on people for generations. That’s why it’s best to prevent it, if we possibly can.

While divorced parents usually manage to rebound, their children know their family of origin is destroyed forever. That hurts.

Children carry deep scars, and often, they do not heal, ever.

Most of the recently divorced couples we know have told us their split “was a long time coming.” In other words, they had plenty of advance warning.

Our take is this: If there was plenty of warning, there’s a good chance divorce could have been prevented.

For example, one man we know says his wife was in five major volunteer organizations. “She didn’t know I was in the world,” he told us. “And, get this, she asked me for the divorce.”

In that case, the man might have spoken up earlier. He might have complained a little louder.

But, chances are, his wife was feeling much of the strain, too. Maybe she coped with marriage issues by staying too busy. She should have faced the problems and tried to solve them as well.

For those of us who’ve been through a divorce, most of us can define a clear breaking point. However, if we’d foreseen the breaking point, and really tried to cool the tension, we likely could have avoided the divorce.

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