LIFE & STYLE

When You Can’t Get Over The One Who Got Over On You

By Barton Goldsmith
Tribune News Service

WWR Article Summary (tl;dr) As therapist Barton Goldsmith points out, when it comes to the struggle to “get over” someone, “We do not and cannot control every single thought that comes into our heads. So you can at least stop beating yourself up about that.” 

Tribune News Service

Most of us have survived a bad relationship or two (a few more in my case). Unfortunately, there is someone who hurt me so badly that it nearly broke me, and I do still think about it more than I would like. I’m not alone in this.

Many people are haunted by the memories of people who have hurt them, and there is no telling when those memories will pop up.

Just like computer pop-ups, they range from annoying to making you want to cry, but the biggest crime here is that they are stealing away the two most precious things you have, your time and peace of mind.

Some uninformed people might say that this person still has some control over you, so don’t feel disheartened if an unempathic idiot tells you that you are choosing to let in those thoughts and feelings. No you are not, and that is my professional opinion. We do not and cannot control every single thought that comes into our heads. So you can at least stop beating yourself up about that.

However, if you are covertly stalking this person on the internet, you may still be involved on some emotional level. No, it isn’t what you want, but it is how you feel, and that doesn’t mean you desire him or her. It does mean that you have some open wounds that are going to need more time and perhaps some assistance to mend. The good news is that it can be done.

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