By Barton Goldsmith
Tribune News Service
WWR Article Summary (tl;dr) Dr. Barton Goldsmith, a psychotherapist and author of “The Happy Couple: How to Make Happiness a Habit One Little Loving Thing at a Time” shares a few tips on how to re-charge your batteries when you are feeling spent.
Tribune News Service
When you are emotionally exhausted, it is difficult to get anything done. Here are some tips to help you reenergize your emotional being.
1. Realize where you are. We all have transition times in our lives, and when we are in the middle of one of them, it can be hard to see what is really going on. You may be feeling disconnected from your work, or perhaps you are mentally exhausted, which is an uncomfortable emotional experience.
2. Get some counseling. When you are not feeling yourself, it may require an outside perspective to give you the information you need to take action or to stop doing something that is no longer benefiting you. It can be hard to see that even though you may love something, it might not be good for you at this time.
3. Calm yourself. Whatever self-soothing techniques you have learned or used in the past, now is the time to dust them off and start your process again. Building emotional strength requires daily exercise, just like building physical strength. Whether you meditate daily, or journal, or simply have a quiet cup of tea in the backyard, it will help to recharge you.
4. Hang out with people who love you. This may actually be difficult if you are in a wounded place and don’t want your loved ones to see you this way, but it really is a great healer. You could say, “Hey, I’m kind of low energy today and need a break. How would you feel about just hanging out?” This will let them know where you are without giving details, and you can have a relaxing day.
5. Get a complete physical. There may be a physical cause to your emotional depletion, and I recommend you get a medical doctor to look you over. Sometimes just the reassurance from a licensed practitioner is all you need to start getting your strength back.
6. Try something different. It has been proven that doing new things increases your connection with life and those close to you. If you have never been camping, now may be a good time to sleep under the stars and commune with nature. Just reviewing your bucket list will help you decide what adventure you want to take.
7. Write down your worries. Getting your pain on paper can give you some perspective on what is going on. Don’t rush through this, but give yourself a couple of days to make a complete list. Then start crossing off things as you take care of them.
8. Write down what is working for you in your life. Also list what you know about who you are: your good points. Compare your worry list with your list of what’s working, and hopefully the balance is in your favor. If not, then use what you have on the good list to shrink the worry list.
9. Take a break. It’s possible you just need a staycation for a few days (or a couple of months) to let things settle or discover an answer to your issues. People who don’t take vacations tend to burn out, so save yourself from that pain by taking a rest when you need to, even if you don’t really think that you do.
I’ve only scratched the surface here.
There are so many other tools. The most important thing is that you are aware of what you are going through at this stage of your life. Your feelings may make complete sense, but if not, you now have some tools to move your life forward.
(Dr. Barton Goldsmith, a psychotherapist in Westlake Village, Calif., is the author of “The Happy Couple: How to Make Happiness a Habit One Little Loving Thing at a Time.”)