OPINION: Sinclaire Sparkman: 10 Things I Hate About Laundry

By Sinclaire Sparkman
The Lebanon Democrat, Tenn.

WWR Article Summary (tl;dr) Sinclaire Sparkman, the Lebanon Democrat’s news editor makes a pretty compelling argument for why doing laundry sucks.

The Lebanon Democrat, Tenn.

I once read an article in a writing magazine written by someone who was an author, mother and entrepreneur.

While juggling her business, children and other facets of everyday life, she still somehow managed to write a series of books on a tight deadline. There was one piece of advice she gave in her article about writing as a busy body, and that was to never do laundry.

As much as I would love to never do laundry, I do like clean clothes, but that doesn’t mean I enjoy the chore.
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In fact, I loathe it.

I’m normally a fairly positive person, but this chore is one that will knock the smile off my face any day.

Laundry is one of those necessary evils lurking around the corner every Saturday just waiting to steal two hours of my life. Now that I live in an older house, it’s even more bothersome.

I do not have a washer or dryer in my house, so for me, the chore goes something like this. Load basket into car, drive to laundromat hoping its not packed with people, fight with door with basket in hand, fill machine with dirty clothes and soap, get quarters, wait, play on phone and wait, ignore loud children and wait, watch whatever lame TV show is on and wait, check to see if clothes are done, put wet clothes in rolling basket, load into dryer, wait some more, check to see if clothes are dry after 20 minutes, wait some more after ignoring loud couple arguing, hope to find a free folding table, drive home after fighting with door again and put away clothes.

It’s a great way to spend time off from work, especially when there’s an unexpected rush of a family of 20 people coming to take up every single drier.

One of the lessons in laundromat adventures was finding the perfect time to find the place almost completely deserted. There’s not one. Whether it’s Friday night, Sunday morning or a weekday, there could at any time be at least five people in the place.

I’m not a completely introverted person. I like to talk to people, but there are times when I really just want peace while churning through my least-favorite chore.

In the interest of outlining why this chore is just the worst, I’ve come up with a list of the 10 things I hate most about laundry.

1. Unlike other chores, laundry has about a billion steps.

2. It’s complicated. Sorting, soaping and softening are all a mystery left to the house-spouse elite.

3. It takes way too long.

4. It’s expensive, whether you pay in quarters or utility costs.

5. Where do you even put them all once they’re clean?

6. Folding is usually just upsetting. There’s got to be a secret to folding that bottom sheet.

7. Something always gets lost. Ode to the lonely sock.

8. It’s never actually done, because you’re always wearing clothes.

9. I have to be around strangers for like two hours.

10. Drier dust makes me sneeze.

So there you have it, my negative-Nancy list about laundry.

Despite the struggle, I do like having clean clothes to wear, even if I have to brave the social laundromat elements to get them. Also, clean clothes smell awesome, so in the end, it’s all worth it.

But I still hate doing laundry.

Sinclaire Sparkman is The Democrat’s news editor. Email her at [email protected] and follow her on Twitter @wilsoncoreports.

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